Fedor: Origins

It was that I was walking when without provocation some of the  Evil Orgs foot soldiers spotted me. Again, I knew for that they were minions of the Evil Org because they brandished the the dedicated minion uniform (eg. TapouT shirts). And it so happened that one of these Minions extended his middle finger in my direction, and he was probably like 30 years old and still wearing TapouT shirts!:

Minions

 And I called to him and I said, "Do you extend your middle finger at me?"

And seeing that I had seen him he was quiet, but answered, "I extend my middle finger, but not at thee." And so I looked around to see whom besides myself he could have been extending his middle finger at and lo, no one was present for him to extend his middle finger at and so I asked, "If you do not extend your middle finger at me, then who do you extend your middle finger at?"

And he was quite, but then he responded, "I extend my middle finger at your shirt," and my shirt was a Fedor shirt, and he elaborated, "it is my belief that Fedor is a coward." I shook my head and continued forth toward my intended destination, but he saw something about me that apparently caught his attention.

"You are him aren't you?" He asked, "You are the one who has prophesied about the SAKU-Belt."

And I replied as I have before, "I am not he who Prophesies, rather I am a scribe of the prophecy."

"That is close enough. Tell us Scribe of Fedor's origins so that we may laugh at you," he mocked to the delight of his minion friends. And by this time a crowd had gathered for they were standing in front of a Hooters smoking Tobacco, and Hooters is a regularly meeting place for the Evil Org's dumb-ass minions. I did not want to indulge them, but I do feel it my responsibility to make known the Prophecy and the oral traditions about the prophecy to those that will listen and so I said, "Hearken for I shall tell you of the Fedor's origins, but quickly, for my bus is soon to arrive."

And the group came before me to listen and I told them this:

I should make you aware that there is more than one explanation of the Fedor's origins. Watch this video:





And after they had watched the video I explained that this was filmed in 1969 and supposedly by the KGB of a crashed flying saucer. I further explained that legend says that the technology that was discovered from that wreckage was used to construct a time traveling cyborg. That cyborg was Fedor who went into the future and when he came back he had knowledge of future events and thus was able to share the prophecy. 

And the Minions laughed and said "That is what you believe! That is ridiculous!" And oh how they enjoyed their shared disdain for me a humble scribe and for Fedor and for anyone that likes Fedor for Dana White does not like Fedor and they wished to please him. But they were startled by my response:


"No, I do not believe that. Only a crackpot idiot would believe that. And the only people as stupid as them would be anyone that believed that there was actually a fair share of people that literally believed that Fedor is a cyborg!"

And they were quite, and some began to blush.

"Fedor is a mere mortal, born in Rubiznhe, Luhansk. Although in someways I suspect he always knew his destiny, which revealed herself to him as a beautiful woman in his childhood, or at least so says the moderately popular 1996 music video by Era; Enae Volare Mezzo, which is the true source of the prophecy."

See here if you have not seen it:



And so they watched the video, many, most, if not all for the first time. And to some the truth of the Prophecy was revealed and to those that it was, they pulled off their TapouT shits in embarrassment and threw them in the mud, for there was mud there and they wanted to muddy their stupid TapouT shirts. But then they looked upon their bare torsos and saw so many stupid tattoos and felt even more embarrassed. And some began to cry and ask for my forgiveness and I said, "I am only the scribe of the Prophecy, my forgiveness will do nothing for you. But you are saved for now you have faith in the Prophecy." And they asked if they could follow me and I said, "No, jeez, I'm going home on the bus." But I encouraged them to subscribe to my blog and they did. But others were not persuaded, even after watching the music video, and so they went back into Hooters and continued to believe that their waitresses actually liked them.